Equality starts with mothers

08-03-2016
Judit Neurink
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The organizers in the Dutch capital Amsterdam had chosen the picture of a female Kurdish Peshmerga fighter killed fighting the Islamic group ISIS in Syria for the debate on ‘Women in conflict and refugee situations’.

The hall mirrored the situation in the Netherlands; women of all colors and ages had come to watch and join in. Amongst them also a delegation of young Kurdish men, who pointed to the epic role of Kurdish women fighting against ISIS.

Their struggle – not only against the Islamic radicals but also for their personal freedom in a conservative society – has become the symbol of the struggle of all women worldwide.

Because of the 1,5 million refugees who use the Balkan route to find refuge in Europa, 55 percent are women and children. That number is up from 27 percent last year, as many European countries are making it more difficult for spouse to join their husbands.

At the same time, figures from countries in war show that ninety percent of the victims of the war are civilians: mainly women and children. The conclusion could be that it is more dangerous even to be a woman than a soldier.

Yet, because of politics and borders closing, women are forced to endure these dangers even longer. And for those living in a camp, the lack of security makes it just as risky to walk to the bathroom facilities at night as it may have been to cross the road at home. Not for the bombs, but for the threat of abuse and rape.

Many of the problems of women can be related to the fact that many men still do not realize that the world would be far more livable and less stressful, if women were allowed their own space, integrity and influence.

Stories from for instance Liberia show what role women can play. There women united to force the men to make peace, and were involved in the peace process.

The United Nations has found that if women play a role in peace negotiations, these tend to be more successful and lasting. Yet between 1991 and 2001 only eight percent of those participating in peace processes were female.

At the same time, women working to improve women rights from inside institutions like the European Union and the United Nations, are having a harder time than ever. As some countries are trying to turn back the clock, asking for exclusions on women rights based on religion and culture.

What those may exclusions lead to, ISIS has shown all too well. In the ISIS caliphate, women are considered only to be wives and mothers, should stay at home and are ordered to wear a burka outside. Their role in the public domain is limited to controlling, healing or teaching other women.

Although not as bad as in the caliphate, in large parts of the world the role women play in the public domain is limited too. Even in a country like Iraq where 25 percent of the parliament is female, almost no women make it into the cabinet. Let alone they will be able to play a role in commerce or business.

The female mayor of Baghdad is a complete exception in a time where Iraqi men demand the right to marry girls as young a nine years old.

Women’s Day is a yearly moment to take stock. And in 2016, the world has not become a better place for women, however much women movements have tried.

That is partly caused by the fact that movements like ISIS derive from a conservative society, where the equality of men and women is not recognized.

Where women will only inherit half of what a man will, and where her testimony is only worth half that of a man. Where the honor of women is a mayor issue for a whole family, and young girls are married off just to make sure it is not violated.

But women play an important role there too. They decide to circumcise their daughters for them to be ‘pure’ and marriageable, and to marry them off for their honor to be safe.
 
It starts even earlier, with mothers bringing up their sons as princes whose very wishes are to be fulfilled, at the same time warning their daughters for what men who never get a ‘no’ may do to them. Thus imprisoning their daughters for the freedom of their sons.

And that is also the circle Kurdish Peshmerga women try to break, when they join the men fighting ISIS.

The consequence is that women movements will not make any real improvement, if we, the women, do not try to make the difference where it all starts: By accepting men and women are equal and by raising our children as such.

And this is what we, the women, owe to the world, if we really want an end to the wars that we, the women, are the main victims of.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of Rudaw.

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