ERBIL, Kurdistan Region - As countries across the globe celebrate Pride, Iran’s transgender community continues to battle discrimination and threats of physical and psychological abuse, despite being partially recognized by the Iranian government.
Iran is one of the only Muslim countries where gender-affirming surgeries are officially recognized, and in fact, subsidized by the government. However, the state recognition does not shield the community from widespread prejudice and sexual violence.
Despite transitioning many years ago, a sense of insecurity and anxiety still overwhelms Dara* as he prepares to tell his story as a transgender man living in Iran’s western Kurdish region (Rojhelat).
“I was at war with my own body,” said Dara about growing up in a conservative Muslim community, as a man trapped inside a woman’s body.
“I was always afraid of the religious aspect and from being seen as a sinner.”
Being homosexual or transsexual is considered a sin in traditional Islamic interpretations. Nonetheless, many Muslim communities permit intersex people undergoing medical intervention surgeries as a form of “treatment”.
Fighting suicidal tendencies over how he felt about his body, Dara would open up about his feelings to professional counselors and psychologists in search of a relief or a solution, but was almost always met with the same answer: “If you get married, you will be cured.”
Based on their recommendations, Dara would say “yes” to a suitor’s proposal, despite having no physical or emotional attraction to him. The marriage did not last for long, as Dara, unable to suppress his true emotions, would soon ask for a divorce.
“I was miserable. I could not talk about how I felt to anyone. My life was consumed by depression and crying. I knew I could never be with a man,” he lamented.
Dara, who always had a passion for art and drawing, would then move to Tehran to pursue a bachelor’s degree. He recalls spending his days isolating himself from everyone on campus.
“I liked the girls but I was too afraid to tell anyone. I was dressing and behaving differently from everyone else.”
He would later be approached by a girl on campus who told him about a friend who had transitioned from female to male. The idea, novel to Dara, was very intriguing to him and he immediately asked for the contact information of the said friend.
“He used to be a girl like me and was sexually attracted to women. I found someone similar to myself. I learnt about gender dysphoria from them and how it was common around the world and how one could undergo gender-affirming surgeries if their condition can be proved medically.”
Dara would go through medical examinations for nearly two years before being declared fit for the surgery. As gender-affirming surgeries require parental approval in Iran, Dara would face a great deal of opposition from his family, particularly his dad, but was eventually able to persuade them to conduct the life-changing operation.
“When I did the surgery, I felt emancipated. I felt I was reborn, especially when I touched my body and realized I did not have breasts anymore.”
Twelve years after his transition, Dara says he has always been public about his surgery and has tried to raise awareness in his community in hopes of achieving more understanding for people that are going through what he experienced.
“Compared to other trans people, I was accepted easier and sooner in the community, because I was a girl transitioning into a boy. Patriarchal customs are more accepting of such cases, but that does not mean I had no problems.”
Dara says it is very difficult for transgender people to find job opportunities because large portions of the community treat them as someone to be feared and disgusted by. He also decries the inability of transgender people to get married, as it is difficult for many to accept that their partner is not cisgender.
The conservative communities in Iran and Rojhelat tend to be much less accepting of transgender women. Before transitioning, they are often subjected to rape and sexual abuse, and are constantly subjected to insults and mistreatment after transitioning.
“Transwoman who are assigned male at birth are seen as a source of shame by their families, and that is why, in addition to being beaten up, insulted, and not being socially accepted, they also encounter destructive loneliness,” said Dara.
Dara mentioned how many transwomen run away from home at a young age and resort to prostitution as to not starve to death, as no organizations or relevant authorities agree to take them in.
He says even though the rise of social media has brought more awareness to the LGBTQI+ community, any diversion from heteronormativity is still considered a form of “mental illness” by the state.
“Some families even go as far as killing their trans children because of what the people say about them, while some other trans other people try to commit suicide.”
Dara says he has been actively trying to help LGBTQI+ members for the past few years, and has turned his home into a shelter for the community, expressing hopes for establishing a center for trans rights in which gender non-conforming individuals can learn from people with similar experiences as well as receiving help from medical professionals and psychologists.
Consenting adults participating in same-sex relations could receive sentences as severe as the death penalty based on their marital status. Scores of cisgender homosexuals are reluctantly forced into gender-affirming surgeries in Iran, while many others opt to undergo the surgery in an attempt to save their own lives.
*The name Dara is an alias chosen by the author
Rudaw English has withheld the exact location where the story takes place out of concerns for the subject's safety
Translated and written by Chenar Chalak